Ever feel like you’re building a life or business that looks great on the outside but doesn’t quite feel like you? I’ve been there too.
As an entrepreneur, it’s easy to get caught up in what you think you’re supposed to do whether it’s chasing flashy success milestones or following advice that doesn’t fit your style.
But here’s the truth. Doing what everyone else expects can hold you back from building something that’s truly yours.
This isn’t about ditching every bit of advice or rebelling for the sake of it. It’s about figuring out what works for you and building an authentic life and business.
Let’s talk about how to let go of those expectations and finally start living on your terms.
The Burden Of Expectations
Imagine carrying a backpack that gets heavier with every step you take. This backpack is filled with all the expectations people have of you, from society, your family, and even yourself.
These expectations can guide what you do, how you act and even who you try to be. You might start making choices that go against the grain of your core being because they’re what you think you’re supposed to do.
Do this one too many times and it will start to affect your mental well-being.
During my childhood years, my grades were always being compared to my siblings who were more academically inclined than me. It didn’t feel good to be labeled as the ‘dumb one’ in the family even though I was trying my best at school.
It can make you feel stressed because you’re always trying to live up to these expectations. Anxiety can creep in when you worry about not meeting them.
You become so focused on being the person everyone expects you to be that you forget about your dreams, desires, and values.
It’s important to recognize the weight of these expectations and understand how they’re affecting you. Only then can you start to lighten the load and find your way back to yourself.
Identifying And Understanding Expectations
Think of expectations like invisible rules that you feel you have to follow. But how do you tell which expectations are yours and which ones are just noise?
How To Spot Expectations
Learning how to spot expectations within you takes time and practice. One thing that I want to stress is that not all expectations are bad. Some propel you to be a better person or to aim higher in life.
We are talking about expectations that go against what you want in life or even put you in a dangerous position.
1. Listen To Your Feelings
When you think about certain goals or behaviors do they make you feel excited or pressured?
If it feels more like pressure, it might be someone else’s expectation of you.
2. Ask Why
For every big decision or goal, ask yourself, “Why do I want this?” If your answer is more about pleasing others or fitting in, it might not be what you truly want.
3. Notice Your Reactions
Pay attention to how you react to praise or criticism. If you’re overly worried about others’ opinions, their expectations might guide you more than yours.
Strategies To Understand What You Want
1. Write It Down
Make a list of your goals and dreams. Next to each, write why it’s important to you. It might not be what you desire if you find it hard to explain why.
2. Take a Break
Sometimes, stepping back from social media and the noise of society can help you hear your thoughts more clearly. Use this quiet time to think about what makes you happy.
3. Experiment
Try new things without worrying about what others will think. This can help you discover what you truly enjoy and what you’re doing just because it’s expected.
4. Talk To Someone
Conversations with trusted friends or family can help you sort out your desires from external pressures. Sometimes, just talking about it can make things clearer.
Embracing Your True Self
Learning to love and accept who you are is like giving yourself a big, warm hug. It’s about seeing all the things that make you unique and saying, “That’s okay.”
Here’s how you can start embracing and celebrating the real you.
Celebrate What Makes You Unique
- List Your Likes: Write down what you love to do. These interests make you who you are.
- Acknowledge Your Strengths: Think about what you’re good at and be proud of that.
- Embrace Your Quirks: We are all weird in some ways. They’re what make you special. Love them and own them.
Practice Self-Compassion
- Talk Kindly To Yourself: You wouldn’t be harsh or critical to a loved one, so don’t be that way to yourself.
- Forgive Your Mistakes: Everyone messes up sometimes. Instead of beating yourself up, you can learn from the mistake and move on.
- Take Care Of Yourself: Doing things that make you feel good is a way of showing love to yourself.
Living Authentically
- Make Choices That Feel Right: Before deciding on something, ask yourself, “Is this what I really want?” Go with what feels right to you.
- Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to things that don’t align with your values or that you don’t have the energy for. Setting boundaries is a way of respecting yourself.
- Connect With Like-minded People: Find others who appreciate you for who you are. Being around supportive people can help you feel more comfortable being yourself.
Share Your Stories
We’d love to hear your story! Share with us how you’ve been living true to yourself and dealing with the expectations of others. Your journey could inspire someone else to embrace their authentic self. Drop your experiences in the comments below and let’s support each other in being our real selves.